Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
