Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
