she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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