i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
