I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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