It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
too bad you live with your parents still
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
