Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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