He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize