i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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