It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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