Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
