Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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