I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize