like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
