Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize