She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
