And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
