If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
