Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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