why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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