I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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