I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Randomize
