Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
