You can't motorboat a personality
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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