That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
