Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
