Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
