This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
