yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
