so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
