just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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