he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize