I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
