I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
