I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
