So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize