i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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