I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize