operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
