Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
