you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
