God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize