You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we're making bets on your personal life
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
