He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Randomize
