at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
