So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize