I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
