hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
