Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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