well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
