Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
