We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize