you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
