Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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