Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
