But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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