Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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