So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
