I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
