does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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