never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
