is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize