I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think your dad took our porno
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
