apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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