Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
