your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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