The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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