I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
one might say we're banned from that church
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
